You reminded me of a poem that my cousin recites:

A fart a fart, it’s good for the heart
It sets the body at ease

It will warm up the bed, you can set it alight,
And it fumigates all of the fleas

Lemme grab my camera!

George Orwell died in 1950, you either have the wrong year or wrong attributed personality. /s

You ever get that on the bottom of your foot where scratching tickles too much and you realize that biting it, while not physically possible for yourself, would also be a bad idea? So then you just rub it on a carpet and hope that you can give yourself enough of a rug burn to temporarily mask the itch?

No, the quote am I isn’t your father:

!!!

Covered in The Joker’s blood, Batman lights a cigar

Metaphorically, yes. But the true murder occurred during the 8 minutes of ICE preventing medical assistance after shooting Good.

Yes. Fairy easy

Darth INRI

There is no war in Ba Sing Se

How yellow is it?

Mine had issues with tires getting slashed, and items stolen in lots that were patrolled by campus police, who couldn’t catch the criminal. When the city police got involved, they found out it was the campus police.

Must do something useful? You’re the one selling the damn thing. You can’t build a Pinto and then tell people “we have to stop burning to death or we’ll lose permission to keep production faulty cars.”

There is something inherently wrong with your product, and you can’t even fix it because you’re too busy shoving it down everyone’s throats.

It’s like you’re trying to bake cookies using pieces of every plagiarized baking recipe, whether or not they’re related. Then, before you’ve actually tasted the cookies, you’re telling everyone to reach into the oven and try using this “basic” cookie to modify and make their own cookies.

Except the cookies haven’t even baked yet. And before you’ve ever tasted a single fully baked cookie, you’re announcing modifications to your cookie dough recipe based on feedback from your previously undercooked, improperly made cookies.

Go back to small scale. Let people bake their own cookies at home, and report what they’ve discovered. Try upscaling those recipes, and see if you can make any parts more efficient.

And quit telling people to eat your tainted cookies that are poisoning everyone, and then telling them that if they don’t start enjoying your cookies soon, then you’re gonna have to shut down your factory.

Your cookie/Pinto/AI venture deserves to be shut down. Take the L, learn from it, and try again after you figure out how to get it right. Bake a better cookie instead of trying to make better consumers.

I only voted for Obama once. The first time, I voted for John McCain. What a brainwashed fool I was. What a brainwashed fool I still am; for some reason, I believe that a magical someone is gonna save us all.

The world wouldn’t allow us to commit such atrocities, right?

-Looks at Palestine- fuck.

The best part about those chips is that they’re free!

Daggum, I sure love painting this fence! I HOPE NO ONE FINDS OUT HOW MUCH FUN I’M HAVING!!!

A teacher at the middle school where I (Texan) worked was complaining to me about how horrible it is that she had to teach sex ed. She said that the kids are too young to learn all this. I argued that anyone old enough to breed is already too old to start learning this. After some increasingly heated back and forth, I loudly asked “at what point during the pregnancy should children start learning how sex works??”

To double down on her stupidity, she said “the girls wouldn’t get pregnant if the schools didn’t have to normalize sex for them!”

Exasperated, I threw my hands up and said, “I forgot about the thousands of years during which humans cloned themselves because they weren’t taught about sex yet!”

Rats in the attic
Toys in the cellar

Did you know that it’s impossible to choke him out? His neck is just too strong. He can’t be choked out, not by any puny wrestler, stunt man, nobody can choke out- hey, what smells like shit?

When I (Texan)lived briefly in the northeast, I loved cleaning all the snow off my car. It was so novel and so satisfying to watch it come off in layers. Especially using the ice scraper on the frozen bottom layer…

A few years after moving back to Texas, we had an unseasonably and record amount of snowfall. I’d kept my window brush/squeegee/scraper, so I ran around my apartment parking lot, asking everyone if they’d like the snow off their car. Some people would see me gleefully cleaning a car, and they’d get excited, saying that they wanted to try it. Enough people wanted to try, that I just left them the scraper and told them my apartment number. A few hours later, there was a knock at my door, and my scraper was outside and 95% of the cars were completely clean.

I guess the moral of the story is to fly in some Texans when the snow gets that bad? I dunno, I just wanted to share.

Bye!