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Joined 3 年前
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Cake day: 2023年7月16日

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  • idiomaddict@lemmy.worldtoFunny@sh.itjust.worksoof.
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    10 小时前

    That, and you’re basically asking a Jew in Nazi Germany to not serve an SS troop. I don’t expect that level of courage from myself. So I won’t expect that from anyone else.

    Fair enough, I don’t know what I’d do in the same place. My sister is a (white, American-born) restaurant manager in LA and she sends everyone to the back whenever ICE/border patrol has come by (at one point her restaurant was handing out bilingual cards listing your rights and a legal advice phone number, so they came several times to ask about them), then lets out 25 years of customer service frustration at them. My sister is a special case in meanness, but they’ve tucked their tails between their legs and left every time.

    Obviously not every restaurant has a mean white lady who hates ICE, but it might be a good idea to hire one. Actually, I know a bunch of frustrated, furious white women who feel helpless right now and would love to do it. Maybe this is a matchmaking opportunity.






  • There was a time, in December of 2016, where I really thought that trump might come out as a democrat after taking office. I think I’d still prefer Gore had been inaugurated, if we’re changing the presidencies of this century, but trump coming out swinging for progressive causes (or at least socially progressive causes, because he’s been too rich for any actually leftist fiscal policies) would have been nice




  • That’s actually also fine, because that’s very easy to feel out when talking to someone, IME. I was more trying to filter out the type of person who doesn’t know anything about BDSM but would enthusiastically agree to take control without doing any work to understand how to do things safely. I’m tired of being endangered because someone didn’t want to listen to me explaining that you need to avoid the kidneys in impact play or that you can’t put the entire body weight on an unsupported suspended strappado. I’m not good at sorting that type of person out in my dating life, unfortunately, but I can spot them immediately when they dm/talk about dming.


  • I had a bunch of baggage that made screening for kink both necessary and difficult for me while dating. Shortly before I met my husband, I thought about what makes someone a good dm or a good dom for me, and the Venn diagram was basically a circle. Then I thought about all the dms I know and what I know about their sexual tastes, and I started using dm as a green flag to investigate further.

    Of course, my husband just put a quick, dry note in his profile, double checked near the end of the first date that I knew what it meant and was interested, and then we didn’t address it again until we had been on several dates and were more invested.

    That’s better than my janky avoidant system, but my system works better than anything I’ve tried other than direct communication. But if you aren’t in a place where you can communicate directly with potential partners, you probably shouldn’t be trying to start anything(1). If you’re going to anyway, look for a partner who’s the right level of assertive for you, but it will come up as something problematic if you’re trying to enter a longer term relationship.

    (1) In my case, it’s just that I had difficulty speaking plainly about my wants and needs before having sex with someone. I never had too much of an issue afterwards, but I also catch feelings after having sex with someone, so I need to get it out of the way first, because closed ltrs with incompatible partners suck.










  • Maybe it’s just in this specific case, but if you can’t find any enjoyable music from an entire decade, that’s on you. Unless you want to try and make the case that you’re the only one with good taste and the rest of us are just lowly rubes, which is obviously ridiculous (though I’d probably enjoy the attempt).

    But you’re allowed to have narrow taste and it’s not an insult. No need to get offended.