technically its confidence and hygiene.
Hygiene, manners, fitness, generally not being a creep.
“fitness”
Highly exaggerated by the masculinist movement, I know many people who aren’t in good shape and never were that have a relationship/family life that most would envy
It doesn’t hurt to be fit. You’ll likely look better and it helps with your confidence.
When did I say it hurts to be fit?
The vast majority of the population doesn’t go to the gym and their exercise consists of doing random physical activities around the house, going on walks or having a physically demanding job but a bunch of people with low self esteem got convinced by the internet that they’re hopeless if they don’t go to the gym… Oh and here, buy their product and treat women like shit while you’re at it because it all goes together! That’s what self esteem feels like bitches!
“It doesn’t hurt to” is an idiom meaning it can be beneficial. It doesn’t mean you were arguing that it hurts to be fit. I’m saying it’s not necessary to be fit but it might still be worthwhile.
You’ll likely look better
True.
it helps with your confidence.
False.
I think it definitely anecdotally helps with confidence, but went searching and seems like at least some studies corroborate this common view, at least for self-esteem
I’ve seen lots of people get obsessed over their “fit” looks, and sometimes them going to the gym is both caused and made worse by more obsession with fitness.
Personally, it helped my confidence a lot and made me happier in my body to hit the gym. Seeing progress in something where you have to have grit and dedication usually does help people boost their confidence though, like learning an instrument or a new language, especially in children. Nothing as rewarding as meeting one’s own goals, if you ask me.
As a woman I would like to add that the Fitness part is not true. Of course if you want to ask out a gym girl she will care about fitness, but also if you want to ask a “fashion” girl out she will care about fashion and so on. Know your target before putting effort in the wrong thing. I’m the type that cares zero about fitness.
Hygiene, manners and not being a creep is default tho. Please do that.
Younger generations also need appropriate internet socialization for the social medias. Need to not live under a rock but also not go off the deep end of Insta or 4chan, respectively.
The finer details of making friends on a discord server befuddles me.
Isn’t a discord like a curated list of people who you at least share an interest with?
The sketch with squigly lines here doesn’t just represent hygiene. It shows how doomed he is
You see doom, I see a montage worthy makeover.
I love seeing how this crusty bastard devolves over time. I don’t know that anyone can make him look any worse at this point.
This version gives me Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark with the OG illustrations that were deemed “too scary” for children
His forehead constitutes 50% of his face but is relatively clean. We need more scabbed over zits.
There was an even worse version but it was pretty gory like actually fucking horrible
his eyes are still pretty decent
Also being ok with rejection
If romantic comedies have taught me anything, it’s to never take “no” for an answer, and it’s ok to stalk people because it will all just work out in the end when they realize what they’ve been missing this whole time.
Jeez I wonder if the prevalence of this trope could have overreaching social consequences
Confidence in yourself takes work. Confident people are confident because they loved themselves first and you take care of those you love
nah you start by faking it and being ironically confident until you trick yourself and it becomes second nature. replace self deprecating humor with god complex humor until you believeeeee
Confident people are confident because they are handsome, therefore their advances work more often than not, leading to more confidence.
Confidence is not what makes someone attractive, it’s the other way around.
Sure real confidence does, but fake confidence is a good step on that path, and is better than none at all
Some of it’s also probably situation based.
If you hit on every single person of the gender that you like at one gym, they’ll probably start to feel like you really just want just anyone who will say yes. They’ll probably feel like you don’t like them for them, and that you’re just trying to keep your bed warm. Most people who want relationships want to be with someone who likes them individually as a person. Try not to write “scripts” for the situation in your head too much, either. If you do, it might crash and burn the second that someone goes off of that “script”.
It’s kind of tragic how all of this has become. A relationship likely won’t fix any problems you might have with yourself, nor would it fix most of the other aspects of your life. A partner will also have their own needs and wants, and you should try to have room to provide some of that before you start dating.
Don’t listen to guys like Tate. If he really had good advice, more people from his fan base would be in a happy relationship now, no? He makes money by making you continue to watch his videos. That’s all he cares about. He’s giving you bad advice so he can keep making money off of your sadness. That’s not a bro thing to do.
Don’t follow the plot of any rom-coms. That behaviour is usually a fantastic way to get a restraining order and absolutely ruin any chances you might have had with that person.
Find the little things that make you happy. Gardening? MTG? Video games? Hockey? Drawing? MMA? Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you. It will help build some of that confidence. Let youself be passionate about your hobbies sometimes. It’s ok, I promise.
Try not to worry too much if you mess up or if you ruin your chances with one person. There are over 8 billion people on earth, so there’s almost always someone else you can try with. NO ONE succeeds 100% of the time, and that is more than OK. That is human.
Don’t beat yourself up over not succeeding right away. Unless you are literally currently on your death bed, you still have time.
Outside of the dating stuff, be kind to youself, and try to make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Self care isn’t just fitness and healthy eating. Sometimes could be having pizza in the bath, sometimes it might be playing DnD over multiple continents, sometimes it might be watching cartoons, and sometimes it could even be something like skincare. Your happiness is important, and you should treat it as such.
As long as it doesn’t harm anyone else in the process, please do what you need to do to feel happy. Life is too short to pause your happiness for someone who hasn’t shown up yet. Life is too short to wait to improve things until you meet someone who hasn’t shown up yet.
You deserve happiness, and the sooner you acknowledge that, the better. Find happiness despite what life might throw at you. Try to find joy even in chaos, and always remember that bad feelings usually don’t last forever. You can get through these hard times.
Try not to write “scripts” for the situation in your head too much, either.
How else do you expect me to interact with people?
Take the time to properly enjoy those things that you love with the people who are already around you.
Who?
If you don’t have anyone, then look for hobby groups. There’s groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that. Doesn’t even have to be in person, if the thought of meeting new people irl triggers your anxiety. And if you’re bad at talking to people then you need to practice, fail and learn from your mistakes.
If you have the desire to improve, you’ll manage. Just take it slow and don’t force yourself to get into very uncomfortable or new situations right away. Like, for example, big parties.
Over time, you’ll get better at improvising during conversations and you’ll get more confident. And if there’s people who try to shit on you for trying your best, don’t worry. They’re actually a lot more insecure then you’ll ever be at that point.
There’s groups out there for almost any hobby, so you can get to know people through that.
This advice only works for normal people. I’ve been going to the weightlifting gym and the bouldering gym at least twice a week for 3 years now, and I didn’t meet anyone.
No one at the bouldering gym? What country/state do you live in? I’ve been to two different bouldering gyms and got the impression that it’s one place where people happily help each other or discuss techniques or challenge each other to go up walls. This, however, is my experience in northern Europe in a city where this is a somewhat common sport to play.
South of France. The gym is often crowded and people talk to each other, just not with me.
Are you trying/hoping to meet someone there?
Trying no, hoping yes.
Are there other bouldering gyms around, you might tey a smaller more neighborhood sized gym? Where I live there are a few, and I can’t imagine making real friends at the big crowded ones, but I’m a little over a year in and have made lots of acquaintances at my smaller gym. Only have done something outside of the gym with one person though, and it was pretty low impact, just online gaming. It does feel like progress though.
As for a “script” I basically just introduce myself after I’ve seen someone a few times regularly, (Hey, I’ve seen ypu around a bunch at the same times as me, I’m Glemek.) or if a conversation happened naturally. Which usually starts with an offer for advice on a problem they are working, or generally commiserating about a difficult problem.
My gym can be crowded but usually is pretty sparse when I am there, but I basically just try to be friendly to everyone, be an encouraging presence at the gym, and see if there are people who would make sense to be potential outside the gym friends.
To be fair, I wouldn’t necessarily consider the gym a place to meet people either. Most people there just do their thing and go home. 😅
If you really want to connect with people there you could ask someone to either spot you or ask them about something else related to the gym. Although I would consider that pretty advanced already. Sometimes a simple greeting whenever you’re there or some small talk is enough practice for a while. Even if it’s just the person at the reception or the person that you see there all the time. It helps.
Personally, I was forced to get good at talking to people through my job, but I used to get literal panic attacks before making phone calls. I still stutter from time to time, but only when I’m not focused (which is hard for me too lol). Also, therapy helps a lot for certain things, group therapy can be good too (also can be great for meeting new people).
I sometimes compare life in general to an Elder Scrolls game in my mind. You start out with shit stats, maybe some bonus stats. And then you have to work on each of those things to get them to a decent level so you can fend for yourself. If I achieve something difficult, I sometimes imagine myself leveling up. Sounds, pop-ups, the whole thing. 😁
Sorry for the wall of text btw, it happened so quickly lol.
Cartoon memes are starting to resemble actual art
Perhaps a shower and a haircut wouldn’t hurt.
I’m having my weekly shower later today! 👍
I’ve seen way too many guys who think they’re uglier than they are. Confidence and Comedy really are great ways to have a shot, even if you’re faking the confidence. Its a tough lesson, but you DO need to sell yourself a little
I always joke that I snagged my wife by being funny. Then she laughs. Then I’m like “See!?” It’s a great bit. She insists I’m handsome. I don’t see it. The parts of me she compliments aren’t even things I’m conscious of.
It’s all he needs. You on the other hand… had better be a trillionaire. :-P
Average mfr with a anime pfp arguing politics on unrelated topics
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
https://www.piped.video/watch?v=OAYcAdUKMts
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Lol this is hilarious!!!
That whole movie is an absolute gem
Why the duck
I’m just imagining this scene in a cartoon and it is kind of funny, if it were drawn literally as is.
Ok, listen. A great attitude (what the meme calls ‘confidence’) will definitely improve your chances. This doesn’t detract from the fact that if you were to randomly ask a lot of people out, the vast majority of them would still say no because either they’re not looking for a partner or you’re not their type. The hard part is accepting that fact and continue trying without getting so emotionally exhausted that you no longer even want to try. Tinder makes this even worse, because it condenses dozens of rejections in a short amount of time, in a context that makes looks far more important than other worthwhile traits of yours.
Of course, having an ugly face, being poor and even having bad genetics will make things harder. But there are plenty of fat, ugly dudes and gals in happy relationships. If you see yourself in the meme, your worst enemy is not knowing how to get out of a pit of hurt and self-doubt, but it’s an enemy you can beat.
Confidence is knowing that she’s not The One.
